Life is Crazy

     So, I, Makaela, am graduating in just a few short months. That is crazy. To imagine I'm about to leave and go off on my own into the great unknown. That is also quite scary, especially for someone like me. I don't like suprises, I like to know what is coming up. Another thing I don't like is talking to my parents about anything. I don't have a close relationship with them and it's always awkward talking them.
     My first problem is this. What to do about college. I had been lazy at the beginning of the year and never bothered with filling out applications. Mostly because family, friends, and school counselors kept telling me I would never make it and I have no future. So I had that engraned in my mind and proved them right. So now I'm concidering going to a junior college first and take online classes and get a full time job. Or, I can take a semester off and get a job then apply for colleges for the Spring of 2013.
     My second problem is that I want to live on my own, out of the Temecula area and move to Long Beach. I really like it out there. I feel like thats where I belong. But, I'm worried. How do I tell my parents I want to move out with out them getting upset and what not? What if I procrastinate on getting a place to stay, what if I can't find a job out there? What if I don't ever even get to college? Then I'll never become an ER Nurse. What if I just struggle living on my own? I can't come back to live with my parents again. I just can't. It's miserable.
     My third issue is a boy. We had been dating, on and off, for about a year and a half. But we had never seen each other while dating because he lives in Long Beach, which is 1 hour, 22 minutes away from my house now. He is 2 years older than I am. I was always really difficult to date. He said I was too selfish, controlling, and argumentative. Which was true. I wish it wasnt, but he recently broke up with me again for good. Saying that he wants someone he can hold and see everyday. Someone that acts like a mature woman. Which clearly wasn't me at that time. I think he is making a huge mistake by doing this. He was my best friend, and now all what he is doing is pushing me away. Which hurts more than anything in the world. I would do anything to get him back, forever. To prove to him I have grown up so much and I'm just not the same little girl he used to know. I'm the exact person he wants, he just doesn't see it. Now he's too stubborn to see it. He's afraid I'm actually right for once and that he does really love me. I just don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. (:
~Mickie~ <3

Have you ever wondered...

Hello everyone. I just wanted to talk about some things I have been thinking about lately. Have you ever wondered why you were here? Or what your supposed to do with your life? Were all here for a reason. We just have to figure it out. Everything happens for a reason. Everyday is another day to change, another day to love, to be someone, to accomplish something. You can't change what happened yesterday, but you can change what happens tomorrow.